What will stop a mother's heart.

My sweet little Anna Bell has done a few things over the past couple of days to nearly make my heart stop:

*On Saturday, Fred was able to go fishing with a friend from church, so the kids and I were having a very lazy, quiet morning. ...That is, until Anna Bell snuck off and climbed up our dresser and got a hold of the bottle of infant's Tylenol. When I found her, she had the bottle open and was drinking the Tylenol out of the dropper! I first called the after hours and left a message and when they didn't call back in the 2 minutes that I waited, I called poison control. Thankfully, the amount that she could have possibly gotten out of the bottle was not enough to be toxic for her size/age. Our pediatrician called back as I was talking to poison control and they said the same thing. Whew. We keep all medicines on a high shelf in the closet, but I had just gotten careless and left it on our dresser. I will NOT be doing that again!

*The weather has been absolutely perfect lately. I cannot stay inside! The kids have so much fun and get so dirty exploring and playing hard. It's been so fun to sit and soak up the sun or explore along with them. But I've also enjoyed being productive: organizing the garage, pulling weeds, watering new grass, and planting flowers while listening to their little voices. However, yesterday I got a little over-zealous. Caleb was down for a nap and J & AB were doing a great job playing together, so I decided to mow the lawn. I knew that it would bless Fred to not have to worry about it over the weekend. So I started out mowing the front yard. I kept an eye on the kids the whole time- making sure that they didn't come near the mower and weren't pulling each others' arms off or anything. As I got close to finishing the front, I turned the mower off and told the kids to head to the back. Joshua went one way around and Anna Bell ran the other way. I had about 2 more strips to do and then headed around. I saw Joshua playing at the sandbox, but did not see Anna Bell. Like most 3 year olds, she is easily distracted, so I figured she found something that interested her on the side of the house. I continued mowing for probably only 2 more minutes. Still no Anna Bell. So I turned the mower off and asked Joshua if he'd seen her. Nope. I walked around to the side that she had run to while calling her name. Not there. Garage- no. Neighbor's yard- nothing. By this time, I was jogging and calling her name a little louder. I checked both neighbors' yards, back by the creek and woods- all the while yelling her name. The garage was open, but I didn't think that she could reach the door to inside and I thought that even if she did, she probably wouldn't shut it behind her, but I checked anyway. I ran (while yelling) all through the house. Knowing her tendency to hide and ability to be very quiet when she is doing something she's not supposed to, I even yelled "Anna Bell, do you want a piece of candy?!!?" - not a sound. Okay, by this time I was fully panicked. As I ran back outside, a neighbor drove by and I flagged her down. She jumped out and started helping. She ran back to the creek to check there while I kept calling around back in the woods. The only thing that I could pray was over and over "Please Lord, please Lord." After what seemed like forever (probably not even 10 minutes) Joshua said that he heard her voice. Sure enough, there she was, coming out of the house saying "what mommy?".... Oh praise Jesus. I scooped her up and just kissed her and held her tight. (Even though her pants were completely wet from peeing all over herself...a topic for another post:)) ... I was so terrified in those moments. I know that it wasn't really that long and the likelihood of something happening probably wasn't that great, but in that moment all I could think of was the worst. That someone had snatched her or that she had fallen in some water and I wasn't there to protect her. How would you ever begin to heal from something like that?!? ...And as I laid in bed last night, recalling the emotion of it, I thought upon the Lord's goodness. He is good. I have watched dear brothers and sisters in Christ lose their babies to sickness or other tragedies-- watched them Bless the name of the LORD in the midst of the heaviest grief. And I was greatly challenged-- to trust the LORD and His provision. To bless His Name regardless of the circumstance. ...And to thank Him for such sweet blessings (even on the days when they completely exhaust me!)

Dearest Anna Bell,

I love you. You are a challenge and exhaust me most days, but gracious, do I love you. Your overflowing personality is such a joy to me and daddy and so many others. ...So PLEASE stop doing things to scare your momma to death.

Love, Mommy